Upsidedown-edness

I turned in half of my final paperwork for transference of grades from Bremen. Earlier today I thought everything was solved, I have 2 appointments to get 2 people to sign my last paperwork. Then I should be home clear, and graduate. The thing is, I still don't trust it. I don't believe I'm going to get the credit. I don't believe everything is settled. I don't believe I will graduate. (I also didn't believe I would actually spend a year in Germany, but that happened) But the point is, I'm still losing sleep over the credits. I'm fearful; too much is up in the air; too much is riding on these few papers. Think about it, you're life, the course it takes and the decisions you make that will shape the next stage of your life, years upon years, the potential for everything, all of it resides in a little bit of ink on parchment. This must be akin to the way Faust felt signing his soul over to the devil. My stomach is roiling, my head is spinning, and my sickened fear is mixed with a heady delight. I'm afraid to pick up the prize, my diploma, for fear it is booby-trapped. :/ And my stomach still feels upsidedown.