Realization

I realized today that I've been approaching life the wrong way; I've been trying to recreate the past. Not the past in general, but the bits and pieces of the past I love, the parts I'm forever attached to, the great things in life that I believe are worth of existence. This is a mistake, the past is past, gone, vorbei. Those past moments will never exist again because the situation that created them, every little thing that happened to make that instant, that measure of time, take place is also gone. You cannot recreate a perfect moment, all you can do is enjoy it, remember it, and look forward to the next. How ridiculous is it to go around trying to recreate these things; like trying to finish a dream on your own, doesn't it aquire a plastic "fake" feeling living in a false world, recreating the past of yesterday, yesteryear, once upon a time? Trying to go back to the way things were before... it never works, and it would quickly become boring even if it did work. A plastic existence, the record player stuck in loop.

It works this way with friends too; close friends, good friends, friends you may have lost for whatever reasons. Forget trying to recreate. Remember the past, remember your experiences, your choices, they are what make you who you are, but do not be bound by them. Don't allow them to define you, to make you static and predictable. I knew this rule before, but i had forgotten it and broken it.

Today I realized I have to forget people; I have to forget the way they constaintly influenced my life in the moment. It's not really forgetting them, it's letting go; it's realizing you don't need to mourn their loss, you don't need to recreate the situation of the past to get them back, you work instead toward tomorrow and tomorrow's possibilities. Perhaps in the future you can rejoin with a person, a friend, whomever, but don't rejoin and expect things to be as they were... that time is over. Rejoin and look to where you can go together.